I don’t know if I’m going insane. I get a weird feeling sometimes like we are all connected creating this world. All our energy being used towards some sort of purpose. A big organic machine. It’s not a feeling that can be put into words, you have to feel it.
A beautiful powerful hum from millions of different voices all fighting to be the loudest. A hypnotic swirl of colours and sensations all heading towards a magnetic centre. A clock endlessly ticking yet still the world keeps spinning. Every new thought added to the universal thought bank, then distributed to its customers. Millions of different souls feeling life right now. Everyone alive sharing fundamental things in common:-
Their life, the earth and this universe. All of us of doomed to a short life and then what could be an eternity of emptiness.
I feel very insignificant which is slightly upsetting but at the same time deeply happy to be part of whatever it is I’m part of.
There is a text which describes this exactly but I can’t remember where I read it.
It might be because of mind-altering drugs I took in the past but I think it’s much more spiritual. I don’t feel like there is a God but I feel like there’s some sort of other plane of our existence that maybe isn’t visible. You can just feel it.
Then again, maybe I’m just in denial of our pointless and futile existence. aha.
I think if we all lived away from all the modern distractions in life, maybe that connection would be stronger. Whenever I go out walking in beautiful woodlands, it feels like it’s breathing and brimming with energy. Which is pretty insane. Sometimes it feels so amazing to be alone out there in the wild; you can always think so much clearer, you forget about all those meaningless distractions.
Maybe in my human heart I’m uncomfortable with this unnatural world filled with pollution, metal boxes on wheels and electronic conversations.
I haven’t spent much time in cities and quite frankly they terrify me. All those blank faces. All those sleek, dark suits. Cups of coffee held like life saving medicine. Everyone rushing around and for what? To work till they die. To live their lives rushing around earning money so when they retire they can finally live.
Wasting our lives away and for what, paper! Will that paper be worth anything when the end inevitably comes. No it wont. The life you lived will be what is of worth. What you are worth as a person is worth more than millions.
I think whether your existence is futile or not depends on who you are. I want to be one of those people whose existence is worth something. I want to be someone who changes the world in some way.
I just think some people don’t stop and realise they may only have this life so they might as well live it. I think some people as so disconnected from nature that they don’t feel this energy all around us.
We are all in this together so why are we all so damn disconnected.
We talk to people that are miles away, yet our neighbours are strangers.
Smile at people you don’t know, everyone deserves to be acknowledged and it could make their day just a little bit better. 🙂